This Llama Needs a Job

This Llama Needs a Job THIS LLAMA NEEDS A JOB Meet Sweetpea. Sweetpea is 5 years old and was born to a life of luxury. Day in, day out, Sweetpea grazes in the pasture, drinks fresh water from a constantly filled water supply, and eats as much sweet feed, rolled oats and cracked corn as her heart desires. Sweetpea has a luxurious coat of fleece and fiber, the softest fur you can run your fingers through. She is groomed yearly and has regular checkups. She has produced 2 healthy offspring and is great with (human) children. Sweetpea needs a job. She is bored. She paces the fence line, trying to catch the eyes of passing cars by doing her best poses and tricks. She says the past 3 years have been devoted to the care, feeding, and weaning of her babies. She is now ready to work full-time, she wants to contribute to talk with other grown ups. Together we created her résumé and she was quick to point out her strong points: 1- Leadership. She is the oldest female in the herd and all the others follow her lead. 2- Sales and Marketing. With her quick poses, tricks, head tosses, and trots, people stop to admire her and immediately decide they have to have a llama, hence boosting sales of all llamas ready for purchase. 3- Team Development Management. She quickly trains her newborns to adapt to the ways of the herd. The other members grudgingly follow her lead and are sometimes not happy about it, but she encourages group synergy by praising accomplishments (proper hay chewing techniques) and motivating them to work harder together (alright, on three toss the head to the left, then back to the right now stretch it to the sky. Just like that. Great job!). Sweetpea adds that she is flexible when it comes to pay, but she would lean toward a position that offered fresh veggies daily (versus the old soggy ones in the back of the crisper drawer). Travel is a consideration, but relocation is out of the question. She looks forward to working with you and says she can be reached by email or on her iPhone. Thank You.